The Single Man Experience - Love vs Money
This entry was written in an attempt to weigh the differences between a relationship built together solely on love as opposed to a “situation” that is more of a business deal than a relationship. Can we use actually use sex and money to create a comfortable living situation and call it a relationship? Or is it just a matter of time before we begin to seek the emotional and physical needs that are missing?
I recently had a weird conversation with a female who says that she is comfortable in her current situation. She said that she loves her boyfriend she but is not “in” love with him. As she continued to explain her point of view at what separates comfort and safety from actual love, the only thing I could think was, “are you happy?” Let me explain the situation. This girl is in a relationship that resembles a casual business deal. She has a career and she makes enough money to spoil herself. She has no children. Her physical appearance is nothing short of abundant so to speak. She has a boyfriend that makes a lot of money. She claims that his means of making money isn’t exactly the most honest though. None of these things matter to her though. She is just with him because he makes her life as comfortable as possible. So she basically just spends her money on herself and he spends more money on her. He takes her on trips and gets her whatever she wants. She claims that he “bribes” her with monetary offers that are too good to refuse every time that she thinks or mentions ending this situation.
They also have a weird sexual relationship. She “claims” that she takes care of herself sexually and he watches. That’s it (although I find this hard to believe). He isn’t allowed to join. She says this is only because she’s not sexually attracted to him. He’s satisfied with her just being his girl. The true meaning of a trophy wife basically. So basically all she has to do is show up.
She complained to me about how she is comfortable but not necessarily happy. She claims that he’s in love with her and she is basically his doll. The same love is not being returned though.
I asked her how come she decided to tell me all of these things. Her answer was “I’m physically and sexually attracted to you. He gives me every material thing that I need and want but I need that sexual and physical aspect.” Let that sink in for a moment. So basically, she was trying to ask me to be her side-dude. She is searching for a man to fulfill the things that she isn’t getting from her boyfriend.
As I began to analyze this situation, I realized that love took the back seat in her mind. Her main concern in a relationship was safety. Now, I can’t knock anyone for wanting safety, but what is safety? Is it financial safety? Does she feel that he will never cheat on her? Does safety even exist? If it does, is it always guaranteed? As I started to think of all of these things, I started to compare my priorities to hers. I realized that I will rather remain single than have to bribe a woman to be with or around me. Am I wrong? Can you buy love? I mean true love and safety. It sounds like a lot to ask for but I’d rather have all of that in one person than try to piece it together through multiple women. Even if my relationship isn’t perfect because nothin is ever completely perfect. So we pretty much went back and forth for a while about priorities and expectations. She has her version of what’s important in a relationship and I have mine. I decided to thug it out until I was completely sure about being someone. Now her question to me was “who’s really the selfish one now?”
Is this a cry for help?
Is she trying to tell me something by pouring her heart out?
Does expect me to sweep her out of her situation?
Love vs Money Part 2 coming soon…